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 The Final Ending of Many Past

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PostSubject: The Final Ending of Many Past   Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:28 pm

The Final Ending of Many Past


The True End

This is Havoc. The reason I said my name is because the hope is that at the time of your reading this message my account has been deleted. This is out of all honesty the last time you'll see me on Umbrella (in the logged in sense) as I've asked for my account to be deleted and through a wall of text filled with poor wording and horrid grammar I'd like to share with why.

A Change to a More Serious Tone of Voice

Oddly enough I'm not leaving this time on bad terms (as I've been known to do in the past). I'm leaving now because I've been inspired. Inspired to create an idea. Unfortunately this idea also requires self punishment. Everything that I love or have loved that is either synthetic or wicked must be destroyed if I am to traverse the plains of self idolization and achieve one day what I hope so much to share and eventually achieve. (Perhaps on day you'll understand what I mean by this if I am successful in my journey)

The Apology

I know that in some way there is negativity towards me in each and every individual on this site. In some way, may it be big or small, I have hurt you during my existence upon this site. I apologize for those occurrences and ask you to (at least try to) blot them out of the overall image you get when you here the word Havoc. May the image you get of me be a good one.. Just as the images I have retained of all of you. Odd isn't it? How the funnest/best moments of a person's life can be had on a small not-so-well-known website about a game they didn't every really get into.. and for that I am happy of my going on 3 years time spent in this clan. However all good things in life must eventually come to an end.

A Future

Just because I'm leaving this site however doesn't mean I wouldn't like to remain and contact with any of you on this site. Even now I am friends with a few of you upon Xbox Live (GT: DarkHavoc1991) though my existence upon there may soon come to an end as well. Due to this fact I convey to you a small bit of information that I'm sure most of you probably already know. My name is Clinton Davis and I do have Facebook.. add me. Perhaps you can't find me through the vast amount of people who share the same name as me so instead I would like to direct you to my good friend Trigger. You can find my profile through his profile if you wish to seek me out and perhaps the good times may not have to end after all.. If this is done however I do request you add a message to your request stating who you were upon Umbrella as I have a nasty habit of not accepting the requests of those who I do not know.

A Teardrop of Slight Regret

As I write this last part I can't help but realize to myself that these are the last moments I'll ever spend upon this site. I also can't help but hope that what I'm choosing to fallow after giving up this site is worth me giving it up as many things wouldn't be worth it. I acknowledge just as much as you that my cause may be foolish.. The way I see it however it can't hurt to try. So now I would like to bid my fairwells and closer the journey that I so eagerly seek to see through before my death. Let this thread forever speak the story of Havoc. With that may I share but five more words.

I Can See a Rainbow

~ Havoc
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Havoc
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Gender : Male
Number of posts : 95
Age : 24

PostSubject: Re: The Final Ending of Many Past   Mon Nov 15, 2010 1:55 am

Finished Business

I believe the work I have set out to complete has thusly been completed. Opinionativly, I have reached some form or stage of what I believe to be self enlightenment; which I plan to elaborate on and hopefully one day distribute to the masses in some form of choosing. To achieve the change I, at the time, believed that I needed to destroy the things that made me happy and polluted my brain (distractions) in an attempt to achieve pure thoughts that were not underdeveloped like they would have been had I not done what I did. It did, in fact work, as my mind seems to go slightly insane when all distractions are cut out completely and all I have is the ability to ponder. My end goal was achieved in a matter of four days coming up with my own belief system/religion. The reason the above post seems so much that I was leaving forever in every state is because, at the time, I was. My attempts were to create a more pleasurable me and a more enjoyable mindset in the attempts of a longer and more productive life. During this time period I both destroyed my old aliases (Havoc, Morte, Soul) and created a new one (Saint Eternity) which in some degree both defines me and my belief system as a whole. Interesting right? Regardless as of today I felt stable enough in my new mindset to resurface myself upon this site as a new person. Why I say this is because I request to no longer be called or defined by my old names (If you can help it) as from here out I will ignore them as comments or direct statements to the "new" me. They only remind me of a not-too-enjoyable period of my life which I now believe to be almost over. In celebration of this destruction of mindset I celebrate with a new name and a new found joy for that which is life. With this new belief system I believe that the way I go about problems, view others, and act out as a whole will forever be changed. Which is why I regard myself as a new person instead of a revised person. In actuality the deletion of my first account was all together an attempt to take this site out of my life completely. Fairly painful as I regard it as a child (as there are lasting marks I have forever made upon it both good and bad. And in those marks have molded it into what it is today. Even if it still despises me for my actions.) Now as I was saying I was supposed to have a permanently ban to all together blot out my compulsive behavior towards this site. Two things however opened up to me during my alienation. 1. I discovered it was impossible to be permanently banned from this site as I had used a much more beloved member's computer meaning both of us would be permanently banned in the process. 2. The process was shorter than expected leaving me with days filled with boredom. 3. The fact said more beloved member still frequented the site during my alienation caused it to were the site ate at me and caused me to desire its presence once again even if I wasn't going to get on as much as I once did.

Thus I decided to create this new account. Though I wont frequent the site as much as I used to (or will I? *shrugs*) I will still have a way of coming here if the need ever arises. So for now I say "greetings" once again as for.. what is it.. the fourth time now? I've found myself unable to completely leave.

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Sleep the dreams away.
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