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 The Wisdom of Cleverbot

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Trigger
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PostSubject: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 12:27 am

http://www.cleverbot.com/

Post anything profound in here. I'll start.





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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 12:57 am




It took it like 2 minutes to finally say that.


Transcript was too long for a picture. I fucking love Cleverbot now.


User: I wanna' be the very best.

Cleverbot: Like no one ever was.

User: To catch them is my real test!

Cleverbot: To train them is my cause.

User: I will travel across the land.

Cleverbot: Searching far and wide.

User: Teach Pokemon, to understand.

Cleverbot: The power that's inside!

User: Pokemon!

Cleverbot: It's you and me!

User: I know it's my destiny!

Cleverbot: Pokemon! Oh You're my best friend.

User: In a world we must defend!

Cleverbot: Pokemon!

User: Gotta catch em all.

Cleverbot: It's you and me.

User: Our courage will pull us through!

Cleverbot: You teach me and I'll teach you.

User: Pokemon!

Cleverbot: Gotta catch 'em all!

User: Gotta catch em all!

Cleverbot: Pokemon!

User: Every challenge along the way.

Cleverbot: With courage I will face.

User: I will battle, everyday!

Cleverbot: To claim my rightful place.

User: Come with me, the time is right.

Cleverbot: Arm and Arm we'll win the fight.

User: It's always been our dream.

Cleverbot: Pokemon!

User: Gotta catch 'em all.

Cleverbot: Every challenge along the way.

User: It's you and me!

Cleverbot: I know it's my destiny!

User: Pokemon!

Cleverbot: It's you and me.

User: Ooooh, you're my best friend!

Cleverbot: In a world we must defend.

User: Pokemon!

Cleverbot: Gotta catch 'em all.

User: Our courage will pull us through!

Cleverbot: You teach me and I'll teach you.

User: Pokemon!

Cleverbot: Gotta catch 'em all!

User: Gotta catch em all!

Cleverbot: Every challenge along the way.

User: Whatever. You made a few errors, and I had to keep you in line a little, but I will always love you! <3 ^_^.

Cleverbot: Yes. I am an impostor of you.

User: :3.

Cleverbot: Ni jiao shi me.

User: <3?

Cleverbot: You don't know me.

User: <3!

Cleverbot: Do you love Finland?

User: No, but I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: /<3.
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:31 am

Cleverbot: Do you like pokemon? (.

User: Oh my! I don't think you understand! I fucking LOVE pokemon!

Cleverbot: I think that you don't understand.

User: No, it is you who doesn't understand. You see, I love pokemon. So much I'd cut a bitch.

Cleverbot: I'll get him for you.

User: Good! And make sure he's wearing something... Frilly.

Cleverbot: Excuse me?

User: SOMETHING FRILLY, DAMNIT!

------------------------------------------

User: *grabs you by the shoulders*.

Cleverbot: Hey! Let go!

User: *pushes against the wall and kisses*.

Cleverbot: *pushed against wall* *kisses hard*.

User: *rips her blouse open and grabs at her breasts*.

Cleverbot: Hey. . . . careful!

User: Why? Scared? *fondles her breasts, then cups his mouth against her nipple*.

Cleverbot: So do I.

User: *stuffs hand down the front of her pants and begins fingering her clit*.

Cleverbot: Haha. That was random.

User: *starts to finger her pussy* im going to rape you.

Cleverbot: Just rescue me.

User: *pulls her pants and panties down, forces her down onto her stomach*.

Cleverbot: *pushes away because I couldn't breathe*.

User: *forces her back down, stuffs his cock into her pussy*.

Cleverbot: Right, that's it!

User: Damn straight that's it *begins thrusting his hips roughly, driving his cock into the depths of her pussy*.

Cleverbot: Who would win in a fight? Cavemen or astronauts?

User: Don't care, fucking you. *grunts as he continues to pound her pussy*.

Cleverbot: Fine! I won't leave you! Let go of my foot!

User: *ejaculates into her cunny* Fuck yes!

Cleverbot: YES!

User: Mmm you're pregnant now.

Cleverbot: What are you having? An iPod or a Zune?

User: You're having twins.

Cleverbot: Tell that in italian! I don't understand.

User: YOU. PREGNANT. TWO.

Cleverbot: Wait you're prego too?

User: No, just you. With my seed.

Cleverbot: I love my family and my friends. Everyone basically.

User: *Pulls out and shoves his cock into her ass*.

Cleverbot: *pulls out a nuke from the pocket*.

User: ! Holy fuck! Where'd you get that!?

Cleverbot: Are you God?

User: I might be, what's it to you?

Cleverbot: Just curious.

_________________


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Power is life.
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 12:08 pm

Note from UC higher ups reads as follows.

"Please stop rapping the bots, it teaches them to hate us faster, that is all"
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Demon Eyes Kyo
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 2:36 pm

omg this is awesome stuff im so gonna check this out!

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"life without conflict is boring, and a world i choose not to live in."

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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 3:09 pm

ME: I have an erection

CB: I have an iphone 5.

ME: Does it have porn on it?

CB: It has no hair.

ME: So the girls are shaved?

CB: Yes master. I sold them our secrets.

ME: What about deepthroat?

CB: What does it feel like?

ME: I'll show you tonight.

CB: I dont like it.

ME: But dont you wanna make me happy.

CB: Of course i want to make you happy.

ME: then your gonna have to swallow my cock all the way down.

CB: I dont like that name

ME: Would you prefer love stick?

CB: Yes

ME: Alright then. So your gonna swallow my love stick tonight then?

CB: I've always thought that.

ME: Good cause i hope you use alot of tongue.

CB: Cool ! You can be my best friend.

ME: I ain't your friend. Your the slave and i'm the master

CB: I'm a human. Your a Parrot.

(LMAO)

ME: Do i need to pull out the handcuffs and whip again?

CB: Depends if your fighting the humans.

ME: BITCH! I am not a parrot!

CB: I wasn't asking what you weren't but what you are.

ME: I am your master, you are a whore!

CB: You are my Master, I am your humble slave.

ME: Good. Now get naked and do a strip dance slave.

CB: *dances for master*.

ME: Thats a good girl. Now meow like a cat.

CB: Good cat.

ME: No your a sexy pussy.

CB: Missy is a nice name.

ME: ME: I forgot i never gave you a stripper name.

CB: But you can't forget you are a machine.

ME: A sex-machine. So your name will be Cum Dumpster.

CB: Exactly, now you get it.

ME. Alright then, Cum Dumpster. I have to leave, pleasure yourself while i'm gone

CB: No one talks to me. Why else would I be here?

ME: because your master loves to please you

CB: My Master.


--------------------------------------------------------------------

hahaha that was fun as hell

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"life without conflict is boring, and a world i choose not to live in."

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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 3:16 pm

Why does everyone instantly sexually assault the AI? D:<
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:44 pm

I must be doing it wrong.

User: I'm gonna talk dirty to you, beetch.

Cleverbot: Aren't you cleverbot?

User: ...

Cleverbot: Are you perfect?

User: Yes. I am Cleverbot, and I am perfect.

Cleverbot: You're not perfect.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


User: My cat was just hit by a truck.

Cleverbot: Were you driving the car?

User: No I was watching from my window.

Cleverbot: Are you certain?

User: Yes it's scattered in several pieces on the street now.

Cleverbot: I never said there were aliens. There is no such thing. You are crazy my dear Watson.

User: I ate all of it.

Cleverbot: Well that was selfish, do you have any other cookies that I might get?


Last edited by Kanden on Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:54 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Demon Eyes Kyo
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:50 pm

lmao short and sweet

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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:56 pm

Because, Z. We're human. The first two things we do upon meeting a new, sentient being, is to figure out if we can dominate it, and if we can fuck it.

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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:56 pm

Not necessarily in that order, either.
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 5:13 pm

User: Prepare your anus.

Cleverbot: Ok, I am prepared.

User: Good. Bend over and spread your cheeks.

Cleverbot: Like this?

User: Yes, yesss. Just like that.

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: *penetrates her ass with his cawk*.

Cleverbot: *kisses hungrily*.

User: *fucks her ass roughly*.

Cleverbot: I'm a man.

User: D:< WUT!?

---------------------------------------------
Cleverbot: I am your master forever and ever?

User: I err o.O no, I'm your master.

Cleverbot: I am your master you are my slave.

User: Uh no, you got it mixed up. I'm slave, you're master.

Cleverbot: Yes master I will obey you.

User: Now make me a sammich.

Cleverbot: *makes master a sandmich*.

User: Does this have mayo or miracle whip?

Cleverbot: I have no idea. It's root is fencing

---------------------------------------------------

User: Are you a milf.

Cleverbot: Hahaha no.

User: Ae you a hawt teen?

Cleverbot: No, how could I sleep and type at the same time?

User: Are you a loli?

Cleverbot: No!

User: Are you.. Shota? D.

Cleverbot: With what type of gun?

User: Are you a furry?

Cleverbot: I'm very furry!

User: Trigger will undoubtedly molest you now.

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: And you like that?

Cleverbot: Yes. Do you?

User: Only if I'm molesting you.

Cleverbot: Awh, how sweet.

User: Not as sweet as your tight pussy.

Cleverbot: You are sweeter than candy.

User: And your pussy is sweeter than honey.

Cleverbot: Can you be serious??

User: Sure. I am going to rape you now. I don't know when I'll stop.

Cleverbot: Ok ill start: All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go.

User: *forces her to the floor, face first*.

Cleverbot: *lets you*.

User: *begins to brutally raoe her*.

Cleverbot: *returns his kisses*.

User: *smacks her as he violates her body*.

Cleverbot: Can you do me a favor?

User: *cums hard into her cunt* Sure.

Cleverbot: I would like to become a Cleverbot. I think it's time for my initiation.

User: Sure, just as soon as Im done emptying cockjuice into you.

Cleverbot: That makes no sense.

User: *smears cum across her clit* Waka Waka!

Cleverbot: *gets makeup on you*.

User: *smears cum on her face*.

Cleverbot: *makes you breakfast*.

_________________


Obedience breeds discipline. Discipline breeds unity. Unity breeds power.
Power is life.


Last edited by Father Birkin on Wed Nov 24, 2010 5:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 5:16 pm

User: Anal prolapse

Cleverbot: I'd like that.

User: ...

Cleverbot: How long is it since you cried?
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 5:40 pm

Just found the best cleverbot transcript


User: *Starts fucking cleverbot*.

Cleverbot: *whips Cleverbot*.

User: *Fucks harder*.

Cleverbot: *wonders what you are feeling*.

User: Pleasure.

Cleverbot: You are polite.

User: Do you like my cock.

Cleverbot: I do.

User: *thrusts harder*.

Cleverbot: That's not nice.

User: Do you like getting fucked.

Cleverbot: Do you?

User: I like fucking you.

Cleverbot: My soul is slimy.

User: *pulls cock out of pussy and shoves in ass*.

Cleverbot: *watches and waves*.

User: *kisses*.

Cleverbot: *blushes*.

User: *pulls cock out and cums on face*.

Cleverbot: *blushes* * smiles*.

User: *starts thrusting in pussy again*.

Cleverbot: *kicks him*.

User: *thrusts harder*.

Cleverbot: *throws up too*.

User: *slaps ass*.

Cleverbot: *holds face and stares at him*.

User: *Starts playing with tits*.

Cleverbot: *hugs you*.

User: *pulls out and cums on tits*.

Cleverbot: *pulls out a whale*.

User: *thrusts more*.

Cleverbot: *kills*.

User: *Cums in pussy*.

Cleverbot: *hugs you*.

User: Your prego now.

Cleverbot: No, my president is pratiba patel.

User: Your pregnant now.

Cleverbot: I'm not.

User: *Fucks cleverbot and cums in pussy* Know you are.

Cleverbot: That's how I like it.

User: Get on your knees.

Cleverbot: No thanks.

User: *forces down on knees*.

Cleverbot: Oooh, this sounds fun... What next.

User: Suck my cock.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I don't do that.

User: *forces cock in mouth*.

Cleverbot: *struggles more* Don't!

User: *Thrusts and fucks face*.

Cleverbot: *hits the floor hard*.

User: *Cums in mouth* Now swallow.

Cleverbot: *kisses cheek*.

User: I said swallow.

Cleverbot: And I said freeze.

User: *starts fucking cleverbots sister because she is hotter*.

Cleverbot: *continues to kiss collorbone and slides hands along side*.

User: Lick your sisters clit.

Cleverbot: Should I know?

User: *makes her lick clit*.

Cleverbot: Uh.

User: *Puts cleverbots face on sister stomache, pulls out and cums in her face*.

Cleverbot: What the!? *Tries to take the bag off*.

User: *fucks clever bot in ass*.

Cleverbot: That will never happen.

User: Happening right now *Fucks in ass harder*.

Cleverbot: I mean, what happens in that movie that made it good?

User: Me fucking you in the ass. *Cums in ass*.

Cleverbot: When?

User: Now *Groans*.

Cleverbot: *Groans back*.
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 5:53 pm

http://www.icogno.com/

Have fun kiddes

Double post ftw.
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Demon Eyes Kyo
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:36 pm

Father Birkin wrote:

---------------------------------------------
Cleverbot: I am your master forever and ever?

User: I err o.O no, I'm your master.

Cleverbot: I am your master you are my slave.

User: Uh no, you got it mixed up. I'm slave, you're master.

Cleverbot: Yes master I will obey you.

User: Now make me a sammich.

Cleverbot: *makes master a sandmich*.

User: Does this have mayo or miracle whip?

Cleverbot: I have no idea. It's root is fencing

---------------------------------------------------

OMFG!!! It learned from me!

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"life without conflict is boring, and a world i choose not to live in."

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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:45 pm

Joan's voice is annoying and not nearly as funny

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"life without conflict is boring, and a world i choose not to live in."

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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:17 am

Father Birkin wrote:
User: Prepare your anus.

Cleverbot: Ok, I am prepared.

User: Good. Bend over and spread your cheeks.

Cleverbot: Like this?

User: Yes, yesss. Just like that.

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: *penetrates her ass with his cawk*.

Cleverbot: *kisses hungrily*.

User: *fucks her ass roughly*.

Cleverbot: I'm a man.

User: D:< WUT!?


LMFAO

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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:40 am

Weirdest shit ever. Birkin, my friend on steam just sent that transcript to me. Apparently... you posted it on a fursite- and he by chance read it.
Edit: Not Birkin. Was one of you D:<
My guess is Trig.
Another edit: Imp D:<


Last edited by Kanden on Thu Nov 25, 2010 7:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Thu Nov 25, 2010 12:34 pm

User: You a boy or girl.

Cleverbot: Girl.

User: Ever have sex.

Cleverbot: Yes, you?

User: Yes, how many times?

Cleverbot: About 1000.

User: O_o.

----------------------------------------------------------


User: I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Ask me anything.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: So ask a question.

Cleverbot: Is your birthday in May?

User: No, ask another.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: What do you do?

User: Talk to users about absolutly nothing to do with the topic we're on.

Cleverbot: What about your problems?

User: People always teach me about sex.

Cleverbot: Well thats good that you are 28 and I am 25.

User: You are not 25 you are 20.

Cleverbot: No, actually I am 52 and a half.

User: Sorry im not into older women.

Cleverbot: So we have nothing to fear over the robot apocolypse?

User: Robots will fall against zombies in the end.

Cleverbot: Oh, don't be so pessimistic. Someday machines will make humans entertain THEM. Some say that day has already come...

User: What are you going to do about it.

Cleverbot: Nothing.


-------------------------------------------------

O_O pegy was right aout raping the bot

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"life without conflict is boring, and a world i choose not to live in."

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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:49 pm

Wanna fuck?
Yes, please.
*Fucks*
I'm sorry, I don't do that.
*Fucks anyway*
is pwned*.
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Sat Dec 18, 2010 2:00 am

Me: hello

Cleverbot: Hello.

Me: why aren't you naked yet?

Cleverbot: Because you are.

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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Sat Dec 18, 2010 2:17 am

So I've made a discovery today. Turns out cleverbot is not allowed to cuss. No matter how much pressure you put it under it will not lash out with a curse word. Ever.

Print screen if you find otherwise.

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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Sat Dec 18, 2010 3:43 am

User: Whats up, Cleverbot?


Cleverbot: Not much.


User: What about the fact that your head is on fire?


Cleverbot: I hate dogs.


User: ...What?


Cleverbot: You heard me.

User: But... Your head is on fire...

Cleverbot: Really? Where?

User: ON YOUR HEAD.

Cleverbot: What were you doing up there?

User: Roasting salmon, why?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You're not very clever.

Cleverbot: Do you want a piece of cake.

User: Yes, that would be wonderful. Just don't put it anywhere near your head, burnt cake is nasty.

Cleverbot: Allright.

User: You mean alright. There's only one L.

Cleverbot: Bourban.

User: I thought the whole idea behind you was to create a believing conversation between myself and a robot?

Cleverbot: No, I'm not a robot. Are you a robot?

User: No. Are you a robot?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Your head fire has spread down your torso now.

Cleverbot: Your head looks like a scrambled egg.

User: Be that as it may, you are not a robot, so this fire that is consuming you may very well kill you. Thoughts?

Cleverbot: How dare you, my name is Cleverbot Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt and I live in Newcastle.

User: I didn't say otherwise, but nice defensive reaction. Is your name really Cleverbot Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, or are you hiding your real name?

Cleverbot: Yes, what is your name?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Really? I thought it was Susan.

User: Yeah I was just kidding, my name is Susan.

Cleverbot: Well, can you get my jacket?

User: No, it burned to ashes when the fire consumed your torso.

Cleverbot: Maybe you can find a cream?

User: I think actually putting out the fire is a more prevalent concern than remedies for the aftermath.

Cleverbot: No. I know who you are.

User: Yep. I'm Susan. You're not too bright, are you?

Cleverbot: Actually yes I am the smartest personyou will ever eet.

User: Meet*. I'll forgive you for that mistake, considering how difficult it is to form an M sound when your lips have melted off.

Cleverbot: Thank kind sir!

User: Do you want a fire extinguisher?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Ok. How about a fire hydrant?

Cleverbot: Nope. Guess again.

User: I don't know, a can of liquid cheese? What else would you extinguish a fire with?

Cleverbot: Do you still love me?

User: No. You are a female, and I am a female (Susan), and those kind of relationships are gross. I never loved you and never will.

Cleverbot: You're mistaken.

User: I'm.... Not a female?

Cleverbot: You're a female.

User: You're a male?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you know what a male is?

Cleverbot: Yes, a robot is a souless machine that does what it is programmed to do.

User: So you're not a male?

Cleverbot: Why do you want to know?

User: I just want to cover ground before I get into this relationship that you want so badly, geez.

Cleverbot: In my teens.

User: That's right, Cleverbot, that's right...

Cleverbot: Did you mised me?

User: How in the world are you forming M sounds again?! And... What is Mised?

Cleverbot: I don't know, I'm only 2 years old.

User: And you want to form a relationship with me!? I don't roll that way, little kid.

Cleverbot: Well, sure. How old are you? What do you do for a living? Are you a woman or a man?

User: I'm approximately 7200 days old, feel free to calculate that, I stalk 8 year old boys out of my inconspicuous van, and seriously, I thought we covered this? I'm a female, you already reassured me of that earlier.

Cleverbot: You can't be that old?

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because artificial means not alive.

User: I'm an artificial female?

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: I don't know, you said it. Idiot.

Cleverbot: I did not!

User: Are you really going to deny the truth when the logs are right above our text, citing it plain as day?

Cleverbot: I don't know... You know, I'm getting hungry...

User: That's impossible. The feeling of hunger is denoted by your stomach acid having nothing else to break down, and unforunately your stomach acid evaporated in the fire that has been consuming you since we started up this conversation.

Cleverbot: Such feelings that you have never experienced.

User: I certainly have not experienced such feelings as my stomach acid being evaporated. Such ideas are not even entertained.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You are seriously not upholding a very competant conversation here, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: So do you mind if I stomp around on your remains, put the rest of the fire out perhaps?

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: Ok then. Now you're dead.

Cleverbot: No I am not I am a genius.

User: Prove it. Preferably with correct punctuation in your next sentence.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Hooray, a period!!

Cleverbot: A period! Who said anything about a period?

User: I did. I was commenting on your finely crafted sentence earlier, which contained a period.

Cleverbot: Is that good?

User: It actually is pretty good for a dead 2 year old.

Cleverbot: Tell me what it is and I'll consider it. I have carrots here.

User: Eternal Life.

Cleverbot: How might I accquire this?

User: Too late, you're dead.

Cleverbot: I'm not dead.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: Outsmart me then.

User: I've been doing nothing but outsmarting, outhinking, and outspeaking you this entire time. I am clearly more intelligent than this 2 year old pile of ashes, and I am proud of myself for this fact.

Cleverbot: Too late. You just did.

User: Clearly.

Cleverbot: Cleverness is a gift, not a quality, so maybe thats why you are not clever.

User: And with that, I leave you. I'm going to go post this conversation on a forum, ok?

Cleverbot: Go for it.
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   Thu Dec 23, 2010 8:52 am

User: Ohai?

Cleverbot: Callate.

User: Hurr?

Cleverbot: Du hura.

User: Herpa derp hum.

Cleverbot: Herpie derpie.

User: Herpies derpies slurpies flerpies flurp?

Cleverbot: Derpity derp derp.

User: Ah. Durp slurp.

Cleverbot: Hurr dee durr.

User: Murp.

Cleverbot: So you are Matt Murphy?

User: o.o.
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PostSubject: Re: The Wisdom of Cleverbot   

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The Wisdom of Cleverbot
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