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 Happy Happiness Fun Time!

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Saria231
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Number of posts : 10
Age : 26

PostSubject: Happy Happiness Fun Time!   Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:04 pm

Ten little schoolkids went out to dine,
One choked himself, then there were Nine.

Nine little schoolkids sat up very late,
One overslept, and then there were Eight.

Eight little schoolkids traveled through Heaven,
One decided to stay, and then there were Seven.

Seven little schoolkids chopping up sticks,
One cut himself in half, then there were Six.

Six little schoolkids playing with a beehive,
One was allergic, and then there were Five.

Five little schoolkids going into law,
One got on the sepreme court, then there were Four.

Four little schoolkids going out to sea,
One got swallowed by a whale, and then there were Three.

Three little schoolkids walking in the zoo,
A big bear hugged one, and then there were Two.

Two little schoolkids sitting in the sun,
One got skin cancer, then there was One.

One little schoolkid left all alone,
He hung himself, and then there were None.
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Synyster Gates
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PostSubject: Re: Happy Happiness Fun Time!   Tue Jun 30, 2009 9:36 pm

The ninth kid slept long enough for the rest to travel to Heaven, complete law school, and all the other various activities they did!?

And what about the one that got swallowed by the whale!? Did he make it out!?

And speaking of "he", the poem fails to describe what gender the ten schoolkids are! Why must it be left up to the reader to decide how many are boys, and girl!?

And alone and none doesn't rhyme!

This poem gets 1 out of 5 stars.
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Saria231
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Number of posts : 10
Age : 26

PostSubject: Re: Happy Happiness Fun Time!   Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:40 am

The ninth kid never woke up.

Normally, you don't survive being eaten by a whale.

Gender, in this case, is impertinent. the only thing of relevance is the fact that they are schoolchildren. Why are you thinking about the genders of kids anyway, ya perv?

I didnt mean for ANY of them to rhyme. If any of them did, it was accidental. Look at the supreme court bit: That doesn't rhyme either, yet you failed to mention it.

And as far as your stars go, I'd rather have none. I bet your stars were dipped in a vat of water laced with every STD known to science.
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PostSubject: Re: Happy Happiness Fun Time!   Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:03 am

The one that got on the supreme court later developed a survivor's complex, and shot himself in the frontal lobe.
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Synyster Gates
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PostSubject: Re: Happy Happiness Fun Time!   Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:49 pm

I thought the last kid was the one that got the survivor's complex!?

And I saw nothing about supreme court!

Saria321 wrote:
One got on the sepreme court

When you write it like that, it makes law and four rhyme!
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Saria231
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Age : 26

PostSubject: Re: Happy Happiness Fun Time!   Thu Jul 02, 2009 1:48 am

Phoebe wrote:
I thought the last kid was the one that got the survivor's complex!?

And I saw nothing about supreme court!

Saria321 wrote:
One got on the sepreme court

When you write it like that, it makes law and four rhyme!

The last kid didn't have a survivor complex, he had a mortido problem from the beginning.
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